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  • IJL Team Member Madison

Finding That "Spark"

Every client is searching for this – that magical first date where you instantly feel a connection and fireworks go off at the dinner table. But what is this, realistically? Of course we want every client to find someone they’re going to be attracted to, but what is “that spark” anyway? Because there probably won’t be actual fireworks going off at your dinner table. Here’s how you can actively and realistically find that connection.

Be mentally and emotionally ready to date Maybe you think you’re ready to date, but when it really comes down to it you’re looking for someone to help you get over your ex – that’s okay. We’ve all been there, but regardless of where you stand in the dating world you need to be open. This means giving dates a second chance, and moving away from comparing everyone to your past relationship. You broke up with your previous partner for a reason, and it’s understandable why you would compare new dates to your previous relationship, however – this will only hinder you in the long run.

Don’t get caught up on age Age is subjective. A lot of time it’s simply a number, and getting caught up on this number will only become another hurdle for you to overcome in your dating life. Not only this, but it’s definitely possible to find someone who has aged gracefully and is extremely active, but with age it becomes a little more difficult to find someone who has that perfect “runner’s body”, or who hasn’t changed at all since their teenage years. When it comes to dating you need to be aware that everyone’s human, and if you’re willing to give potential matches a second chance you will be successful. Dating someone a little older than you originally thought you would doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing.

Take Action! You are in charge of your own life. If you liked the person you went on a date with, say so! Get their number and schedule another date. If you were too nervous to get their information ask your client advisor and we’d be happy to pass that information along if there was positive feedback on both ends. If you give someone your number and they never follow up, reach out to them! They could be extremely busy or shy, and maybe they just don’t have the guts to make the first move. Regardless if you’re the girl or the guy, you can take action and make something happen for yourself.

Stop waiting Waiting for that instant “spark” to happen on every first date can get exhausting. If you feel that you have any sort of connection with a match, follow up with them and make plans to see them again. Even if you have enough in common and could see them as a friend you should make plans to meet them again. Sometimes conversation can create a connection over time, and sometimes finding someone you could be friends with could help introduce you to a new social circle, where you could potentially find a match. If nothing else you had a good conversation and an enjoyable evening.

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