Dating Do's:

  • Arrive on time.  You want your date to know that they, and their time, matter to you.

  • Dress for success.  First impressions set the tone for your date, so it pays to put in some effort. Do not treat your date like you are grabbing a drink with a friend, or even worse, attending a business meeting. It is a date, and you need to approach it as such. Choose something that makes you feel confident! Our In-House Stylists have compiled some tips on dating attire, which you can find here in the Date Smart Portal under "Dating Style".  We also offer styling services if you need additional advice on date-worthy attire.

Couple in Love

  • Put your phone away.  Imagine yourself in the middle of a great date. You’re engaged in conversation, and your date is laughing at something you’ve said. Suddenly the familiar beep of your phone pulls you away and the moment is gone. Don’t let this happen! Your attention should be focused on getting to know your date.  Not only is your phone distracting, but checking it can indicate disinterest and should absolutely be avoided.

  • Be yourself. If you present a fake exterior and try to be someone you’re not, you deny yourself the opportunity to be liked for who you really are.

  • Smile, and make eye contact. Confidence is sexy. A smile opens up the face and makes you instantly appear more approachable.

  • Ask questions, and be an active listener.  When someone is interested in what you have to say, it creates a positive impression. Actively listen to your date. While they are speaking, don't try to figure out what you are going to say next. There’s no way you can get to know someone if you aren't actively listening to them.

  • Men: Be chivalrous. Small acts like opening doors, pulling out chairs, or helping your date with her coat are appreciated by many women and indicate both respect as well as interest.

  • Split the Tab.  This is a first date and there should be no pressure or awkwardness around who is paying. When your Client Advisor makes the reservation at the restaurant, she or he will request that your bill will be split. If for some reason the restaurant fails to do this, just pull out your credit card and assume that you will each be paying half. 



Dating Don’ts:


  • Don’t prejudge. Try to approach your date with an open mind. There is a reason we have matched you with this person! Things that may be a “deal breaker” on paper can seem significantly less important when a true connection is formed. Even if it is not a love connection, we encourage our clients to take at least one positive aspect away from each date for the purposes of feedback. For example, “I liked their values, their sense of style and their humor”.

  • Do not discuss the following topics: Past relationships, politics, religion, finances, and family or work drama. There will be time to discuss these subjects down the road but it is best to avoid these often hot-button issues initially. A first date is all about getting to know the other person a little better and walking away with a sense of whether or not you want to see them again. There is no need to delve into deep or dramatic subjects. And while we know it’s tempting, we also discourage discussing your IJL membership or your experience using other dating avenues; discussing previous dates can be off-putting to your current date. 

  • If you choose to drink, do not overindulge. While we in no way discourage having a glass of wine or a cocktail if you so choose, we do suggest imbibing no more than two drinks during a date. Becoming too intoxicated can easily ruin what was a lovely evening.

  • Do not neutralize your feedback. Giving honest and specific feedback to your Client Advisor after your date is essential. Your detailed feedback remains private between you, your Client Advisor and your Matchmaker. Should you work with a Date Smart Dating Coach, she will also utilize this feedback to help you move beyond your dating roadblocks and find even greater success. We use this feedback to better understand you, so if you do not fully share your thoughts and feelings we cannot do our jobs to select the best possible matches for you. For examples of helpful feedback vs non-helpful feedback, click here .