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Dating Do's:

  • Arrive on time.  You want your date to know                                                                                        that they, and their time, matter to you.

  • Dress for success.  First impressions set the                                                                                tone for your date, so it pays to put in some                                                                              effort. Do not treat your date like you are just                                                                      grabbing a drink with a friend, or even worse,                                                                      attending a business meeting. It is a date, and                                                                              you need to approach it as such.

  • Put your phone away.  Imagine yourself in the middle of a great date. You’re engaged in conversation, and your date is laughing at something you’ve said. Suddenly the familiar beep of your phone pulls you away and the moment is gone. Don’t let this happen! Your attention should be focused on getting to know your date.  Not only is your phone distracting but checking it can indicate disinterest and should absolutely be avoided.

  • Be yourself. If you present a fake exterior and try to be someone you’re not, you deny yourself the opportunity to be liked for who you really are. Confidence is sexy. A smile opens up the face and makes you instantly appear more interested. 

  • Ask questions, and be an active listener.  When someone is interested in what you have to say, it creates a positive impression. Actively listen to your date. While they are speaking, do not try to figure out what you are going to say next. There’s no way you can listen and think of a smart response at the same time.

  • Split the Tab.  This is a First Date and there should be no pressure or awkwardness around who is paying. When your Client Advisor makes the reservation at the restaurant, they will request that your bill will be split. If for some reason the restaurant fails to do this, just pull out your credit card and assume that you will each be paying half. 

  • Always go for that Second Date! Our Clients who interact a second time with the match that was selected for them find a much higher level of success, because while a First Date is often focused on learning the facts (i.e., "What do you do for work?"), a Second Date is focused on getting to know their match on a more personal level. Both parties are more relaxed and more themselves on a Second Date, which allows attraction to blossom. 



Dating Don’ts:


  • Don’t prejudge. Approach your date with an open mind. There are reasons this match was selected for you! Qualities that may not be your ideal preferences on paper can seem significantly less important when there is chemistry and a true connection is formed. Even if there is no romantic spark, we encourage our Clients to take at least three positive aspects away from each date for purposes of feedback. For example, "I liked their values, their sense of style and their humor".

  • Do not discuss the following topics: Past relationships, politics, religion, finances, and family or work drama. There will be time to discuss these subjects down the road but it is best to avoid these often hot-button issues initially. A first date is all about getting to know someone new, and walking away with a sense of whether or not you want to see them again. It is that simple. There is no need to delve into deep or dramatic subjects. Discussing your IJL membership or your experience using other dating channels is unflattering and can be off-putting to your current date. The purpose of the date is to get to know each other and discuss common interests, not to talk about other dates! 

  • If you choose to drink, do not overindulge. While we in no way discourage having a glass of wine or a cocktail, we do not recommend indulging in more than two drinks during a date. Becoming too intoxicated can easily ruin what was a lovely evening.

  • Do not neutralize your feedback. Giving honest and specific feedback to your Client Advisor after your date is essential. Your detailed feedback remains private between you and your Client Advisor and your Matchmaker. Should you work with a Date Smart Dating Coach, they will also utilize this feedback to help you move beyond your dating roadblocks and find even greater success. We use this feedback to better understand you, so if you do not fully share your thoughts and feelings, we cannot do our jobs to select the best possible matches for you.

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