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Picture yourself on a first date. Is it starting off with easy conversation that becomes effortless and fun the more you talk? Conversation where you are enjoying yourself so much, that by the end of the date you can’t comprehend where the time has gone?
Is this your reality?
At It’s Just Lunch, our goal is setting up our clients for success with low pressure, fun experiences. Ideally our clients are showing up, having fun and engaging with their date. It’s absolutely understandable that your nerves or “butterflies” come in to play—and that’s normal! Take this energy, make it positive and set yourself up to start the date off strong. Take a step back and remember that both you and your date are coming from a similar place of uncertainty—but think of the possibilities!
Here’s a good place to start - take the lead.
A date is a two-way street, but either person can set the tone to create that easy flow of conversation putting both parties at ease. A great first date where you both feel comfortable, tends to happen when someone is “leading”. Here are a few easy tips on how to lead a date in the right direction so you can both enjoy your time together!
First Impressions Are Everything
Start your date off with an opening greeting that exudes positivity. “Hi John, I’m Julie, it’s very nice to meet you! I have been looking forward to our date this evening!” If you are already seated at your table before your match, make sure to stand up and greet them.
Positivity and politeness helps everyone’s nerves as well as makes your match feel more comfortable and excited to get to know you. Forget making a good first impression, it should be your goal to make a GREAT one!
Breaking the Ice
You started off strong, now let’s keep things moving and really break the ice. It’s always smart to have some go-to ice-breaker questions that will warm the conversation quickly. Things like, “Did you make it here ok?” or “have you had a chance to eat yet?”. Small talk about things going on in the city or even a compliment keeps you heading in the right direction.
Remember you have to walk before you run. Focus on light, fun topics where you can start to get an idea of where their interests lie. This is an easy way to let the conversation flow comfortably without getting too personal. Keep in mind, and this is SUPER important—if you ask a question, make sure you listen closely, smile, make eye contact and show them you are genuinely interested in what they are saying.
Be Flexible
Anything can happen on a date— so be ready! Stay calm and focus on getting to know your date and enjoying yourself. Having set expectations of what is supposed to happen and how it is supposed to go will only stunt the process. If your date is a couple minutes behind or the host(ess) is in the weeds and it’s taking longer to get your table, don’t stress, take a minute to get acclimated with the restaurant. Show up a little early if you have never been there, find something about the atmosphere that makes you feel comfortable or is a conversation starter. This go-with-the-flow attitude will help your match open-up, relax and create a great energy between the two of you. It’s a first date, keep it light, simple and pressure free…but most importantly have fun!
Jolene Beaton is a nationally renowned matchmaker and dating expert. Her expertise, passion and unique ability to truly understand singles and the complex dating scene have made her a sought after expert in matchmaking, dating and relationships. Over the past 11 years Jolene has established herself as a leading Dating & Relationship Coach with It's Just Lunch and remains focused on one key goal – helping her clients find love.