Turning A First Date Into A Second Date

“If you feel as good as, if not any better than when you arrived to the date, go on a second date!” Being a client advisor at It’s Just Lunch, I share this piece of advice often. Many people expect to feel Disney movie sparks on a first date; however, I often find that this is not the case. Chemistry develops over time! When my clients get engaged, one of my favorite things to do is read their original feedback on their now fiancé. More than one could imagine, their initial impression was underwhelming (“I am not feeling any chemistry/attraction”). If they hadn’t opted for a second date, they wouldn’t have found their special someone. For this reason, I always urge my clients to be open to second dates. Here are a few tips to help turn first dates into second dates.

• Make a good first impression. Be early or on time. Dress to create romantic interest.

• Smile when you introduce yourself. Be conscious of your body language (no crossed arms, make eye contact).

• Keep your phone in your car/pocket/purse. It is simply rude to be on your phone during a first date unless there is an emergency that you are expecting to need to tend to.

• Keep the mood light. This is your first interaction on the road to romance and therefore not the time to discuss politics, religion, past/other relationships, health problems, etc. There is plenty of time to discuss heavier topics after you have established a base connection. One romance is developing, the thought of having opposing political views may seem less important.

• Leave some mystery. I can’t say enough to avoid the topics above. Moreover, creating some intrigue will leave your date wondering, “What else?” They will need to go out with you again to learn more!

• Ask unique questions. While everyone wants to know where you are from and what your favorite activities are, the answers to those questions can be generic and forgettable. Straying from the typical questioning “line up” can make the date more memorable and personalized. For example, I would be curious to know what food my date couldn’t live without.

• Start planning your second date during your first date. Use your commonalities to create the template for your next date. You both like hiking? Start discussing when you may be free to go for a hike and share some of your favorite day hike spots. Be mindful to pick a date associated with a time frame you feel comfortable with.

• Follow up within a couple of days. If you do not call or text your date to follow up they will feel forgotten. Plain and simple, after a week goes by your odds of having a second date are deteriorating. Reach out shortly after the date (calls preferred) to let the person know that you had a good time and are looking forward to seeing them again.

Getting on second dates is much more likely if you follow these guidelines. And really, what do you have to lose? You will always feel confident that you aren’t selling yourself short, and further, that you are giving each person the opportunity to be their true self beyond first date jitters. I recommend trying each person on and seeing how they bring out different sides of your personality. Always keep in mind that people can surprise you!

#IJLTeam