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There is nothing more exciting than the thrill of a first date. The anticipation of something new and the memories to follow. There are always questions surrounding the unknowns of a first date – what you’ll wear, what you should do, and of course the kinds of conversations you should be having. Honing in on the craft of conversation is more important than ever - so let’s focus on great first date conversation!
Whether you are a seasoned dater or just getting back out there, we always suggest viewing every date as an opportunity. Ditch the expectations and checklist! Just dive in and get to know the other person for who they truly are - skimming more than just the surface. With that said, here’s our list of Do’s and Don'ts for first date conversation...
Do’s!
Do - Find something that you have in common, whether it be a place you have vacationed, a hobby or sport you enjoy. Finding commonalities between one another will also create that desired feeling of chemistry – when the conversation flows, so does the fun!
Do - Let them get to know you! Talk about your family and your friends, what inspires you and what motivates you. These topics will give your date a good insight into the kinds of things you are interested in as well as your values. You want to leave your first date having made a great impression and with a better understanding of the person you just met. Do - Allow the flow of back and forth conversation. Make sure you are sharing enough about you, while giving them a chance to tell you about themselves. Once you share, ask a question to show your interest in them. This pattern will ultimately create natural flow to a comfortable conversation.
Don’ts!
Don’t - Attempt to discuss a “hot-topic”. You want to keep your first date conversation light-hearted and fun. We suggest staying away from topics such as exes, politics, religion, etc. Remember positivity is attractive, and “hot-topics” tend to bring out the ugly. Don’t let these subjects come into play before you get to know each other - it’s ultimately a one-way ticket to “no second date land”.
Don’t - Make talking about your work a focus. As busy professionals, you spend all day talking about your job while you’re working, with family, friends and even new acquaintances – it is an easy “go-to” question – but it doesn’t give someone the complete picture of you. Yes, you can briefly discuss, but we suggest saving the deep dive for another time so they can get to know about you, not what you do.
Don’t - Give too much, too soon. Yes, you have so much to offer someone and may bring a lot to the table, but allow some information to come out slowly rather than all at once. You don’t want sharing things like income, who you know or even material items to come off as bragging, name dropping, or egocentric. Slowly sharing this type of information over time becomes a turn-on instead of a turn-off.
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First date conversation is about creating a sync between two people. Using these Do’s and Don’ts will allow you to develop a greater connection. Keep in mind, a good conversation helps you dive into what the other person is all about and see life from their perspective. This will help you see if you are interested in continuing to get to know them - bringing you one step closer to finding the right person for you. Happy Dating!