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You’ve been on a few dates, you're definitely liking the person you are dating and now you’re starting to develop feelings – we’ve all been there! Now you begin to wonder if they feel the same way you do. This is totally normal, it’s all a part of starting a new relationship. What you’re not going to do is allow yourself to get stuck in your head pondering all possible scenarios - you are a smart dater and you know when to do something about it. The BIG question is WHEN do you have “the talk?”
Before you start down the road of defining the relationship (DTR), you have to know what you want - sometimes it’s easier said than done, right? Let’s make it simple. What are you looking for in a relationship? Are you wanting to date for fun, or are you looking for a relationship to develop into something more serious? Maybe you just want to have fun and see where it goes, and that’s okay too! Sometimes the best relationships come when you aren’t looking - but be open to them!
When you feel your relationship… or “situation-ship” more so, has come to a turning point and you have a clear vision of what you want, there are a few things that can help you assess if it is even the right time to start the conversation. Have you met each other's friends or family? Do you refer to each other as “we” when talking about future plans? Are you seeing each other every weekend or multiple times a week? Did you answer yes? Then it’s time to “DTR”.
Defining the relationship doesn’t have to be a mind game or even a formal meeting – be honest, open-minded and ask questions. Your conversation can be done over time, there is no rule that it has to take place all at once! There isn’t necessarily a “right” time to start the conversation, but ease into,“I’m enjoying our time together, are you?” You should feel comfortable starting to talk about your situation-ship. Again, let’s make it simple. Seeing where it goes from there will allow you to check-in to see if you are on the same page. Yes, this is time to feel out how in depth you get into the details of ”is this something serious or just fun, casual dating”. That way you have a good idea where they stand before investing too much too soon. Bringing up your intentions earlier than later will ensure that you are on the same page moving forward in the relationship and set you up with a foundation of open communication.
The important thing is, you got out of your head, you had a mature conversation AND ultimately you dated smarter. No matter how the conversation goes, you are in alignment with what you want and how you feel. Setting yourself up to the beginning a healthy relationship OR being free to find the person that’s ready and deserving to be with you!