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Every great first date feedback includes something that sounds a lot like “the conversion was great, it flowed easily and the time flew by. I am looking forward to our next date and getting to know her/him more.” Memorable and mutually engaging conversation requires a balance of the “give and take” of talking and listening. When it comes to your first date conversations, how many of these statements are you able to agree with?
I am keeping an open mind.
I am forthcoming and honest in the information I am sharing, appropriate for a first date.
I am keeping the conversation light-hearted and fun.
I am asking my date questions and showing interest in what they are talking about.
I am matching my date's energy level or bringing them up to my higher level.
I am actively listening and ensuring my date has completed their thought before I chime in. I am showing interest by leaning in towards the conversation, keeping eye contact, and smiling.
If you're not answering YES to each statement, consider leveling up your conversation game. Focus on a couple of areas that would make the biggest impact on how you show up and leave the date with a positive lasting impression. The goal is to always leave them wanting a second date, as that is where chemistry has the chance to bloom!
Level up with these 3 tips:
Body Language Speaks Louder Than Words
Pay attention to your date’s energy. Matching someone’s energy is huge when building comfort and rapport. Fortunately, there are many simple ways to gauge someone’s energy and interest. Pay attention to key indicators such as their hand gestures, body language (and maybe even a flirty little touch or too), and the way they talk; then participate in the conversation with the same level of enthusiasm.
Ask Questions & Listen!
Something we all love talking about, but may never admit to, is ourselves! A great place to start is by asking your date open-ended questions about them. Instead of shooting questions one after another, asking great follow-up questions to show interest is a great way to keep the conversation unfolding organically. You want your date to tell their stories, and you want them interested in your stories too (remember the give and take). As a good rule of thumb, when telling stories on the first date, they should be less than two minutes and paint the picture of what it’s like to date you! Don’t forget that too much information about ourselves on date #1, may not give us that second date we are looking for.
Be the Best Version of You
In general, most people want to be liked…and a first date is no different! That being said, it’s important they get to know the most authentic version of you. You want to be confident and share positive (maybe even a couple of impressive) things about yourself. At the same time, you don’t want to talk about people you may have in common, one-up your date, OR over-the-top brag. Be genuine, honest, and clear about who you are, at a first date appropriate level (as the topic you choose to discuss conveys things you value.
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After your next date go back to see if you can agree with all of the statements above. Did you level up and respond YES to each? Communication is #1 in any relationship, so honing your skills will set you up to start in a positive manner with fun and engaging first-date conversation. The goal as always is to lead to that second date, where together you continue to have fun getting to know one another.