• Date Coach Jolene

Letting Her Go

There are connections in this lifetime that can rock men to their core. This can happen in relationship with women who inspire, arouse and activate a man's masculine identity and change the way they think, feel and love. When a connection that intense ends, women and men tend to react differently when trying to move on.

Research shows women tend to be better at letting go completely. One theory is that, women spend the entire relationship analyzing every aspect. When they come to the realization that their needs aren’t being fulfilled and cannot see an ideal future, they may end the relationship. This can feel abrupt to the man as he didn’t realize she had been analyzing the relationship all along. This is because it isn’t until the aftermath that he begins analyzing what went wrong; most men don’t think about this throughout a relationship.

A breakup without a complete understanding of what happened can be difficult for some men. Not knowing how to move on or trust in developing a new intimate relationship can put them in a holding pattern. When a man is holding on tightly to a past love, he needs to untether her from his soul. Meaning he should subconsciously reconcile the relationship so that he can move on. The quickest way to accomplish this is to accept and address the issue; some even need to work with a professional who can help talk through the situation. Air out, analyze and learn from all the aspects of the past relationship that has you feeling stuck in order to move forward.

Throughout my time as a dating/relationship coach, I have heard many male client’s recollections of that love who “broke their heart,” their “wife that betrayed them” or the "one that got away.” These men are hung up on the past, therefore, not allowing space for something new. Resulting in not being being able to give his new romantic interest 100% of himself.

Leave the past in the past; learn, grow and take past relationship experiences with you to build your next meaningful relationship. Maybe your past “great” love, was the tip of the iceberg of what you have the capability of creating. Remember you are the only person allowing yourself to move forward in a healthy direction OR holding yourself back from a new experience. The sooner you let her go, the sooner you allow yourself to be open to new opportunities. Don’t wait a moment longer, the right relationship is waiting for you.

Jolene Beaton is a nationally renowned matchmaker and dating expert. Her expertise, passion and unique ability to truly understand singles and the complex dating scene have made her a sought-after expert in matchmaking, dating and relationships. Over the past 11 years Jolene has established herself as a leading Dating & Relationship Coach with It's Just Lunch and remains focused on one key goal – helping her clients find love.

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