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  • IJL Team Member

To Text or Not to Text....That is the Question.


Millions of single people are searching online for Mr. or Ms. Right, and many are testing the waters by text. But sending the wrong message may lead to a dating disaster! Fortunately there are ways singles can create better banter and avoid texting turnoffs.

For many daters, texting can hold appeal over emails or even phone conversations. Text conversations are usually a generational thing - younger people have always been accustomed to this kind of communication. Texting allows you to hide behind a screen and people often feel bolder, so they can talk more freely.

So what are some of the most common texting faux pas?

Being Overly Formal

You’re not setting up a business meeting, but a date. If you’re going to text, remember to keep it light and fun… not overly formal.

TMI Overload

Don’t overshare or send texts that read like a novel; save some of the information for the actual date. Lengthy texts can get boring and annoying really fast.

“Debbie Downer”

Negativity can be a real turnoff and can give people the wrong idea about your true personality. Avoid phrases or texts such as “I hate this… or that.” “My job stinks.” A positive attitude is very attractive!

Pestering and Impatient

We’re all busy, so don’t send several follow-up texts if you don’t get a response right away. You will not only come across as needy and insecure, but you’ll likely push someone away. Give a reasonable amount of time to hear back – unless it is time sensitive, do not reach out again until the next day.

Sexting Strangers

No, you're not being a prude if you're uncomfortable when a virtual stranger (no matter how attractive) begins getting frisky via text. The ease of texting invites a definite casualness that can lead people who would never flash their body parts to someone they barely know to taking photos of those same body parts and sending them via text. If a match likes you enough to potentially have a relationship with you, he or she won't sext you prior to the beginning of that relationship. Same goes for engaging in sex talk. If you want more than a hookup and are seeking an actual relationship, cut it out!

Remember, there are certain conversations that should be had in-person and not via text.

Anything that has to do with ‘feelings” should be handled in a phone call or face-to-face. If you have something uncomfortable to say, it’s smarter and classier to pick up the phone and talk it out. Often, you can get your issue resolved in a 5 minute conversation versus an hour of texting back and forth.

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