• Date Coach Jolene

The Art of Flirtation

Flirting is an effective and fun way to let someone know you are interested. Flirting is meant to be playful, and can be conveyed not only through verbal or written communication, but through body language as well. When meeting someone new, you might normally say “It’s nice to meet you.” But, to greet someone flirtatiously, you might instead say, “Well, hello handsome!” The unexpectedness of this type of greeting adds some charm to the encounter, and shows off your confidence. Flirtatious people are confident people, and confident people are attractive people. In order to flirt effectively you must be aware of how your words and body language can be combined to play in your favor.

If verbal flirtation comes out sounding stilted or awkward, try light physical flirtation (when appropriate). This could include a soft touch to his arm, or your hand lightly touching the small of her back. Some struggle with flirtation in person but excel at written flirtation in the form of text or email as a way to express their playful side. Choose whichever method feels most comfortable and natural to you.

Another thing to be aware of if you find yourself being flirted with, is that while some flirting indicates interest in you personally, some people are natural flirts who flirt with everyone they meet. Observe this person to see if their flirting is directed exclusively at you or if they treat everyone in this playful fashion. Regardless, it's okay to flirt back if you feel comfortable doing so.

Is flirting necessary in dating? No. For that reason, if flirting doesn’t come naturally to you then err on the side of caution and simply be yourself. The last thing you want is to make the other person or yourself uncomfortable. A quick recovery if your flirting doesn’t go as planned could be something as simple as, “Sorry, that was my poor attempt at flirting”, which could receive a laugh and allow you to relax into being yourself.

Remember, the keys to flirting are confidence and fun. So go get your flirt on!


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